


how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: "eloquent rants": or, happy endings are acts of revolution [1]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Meta, Spitefic, agressively happy, also i realized i was pissed abt more than just q and eliot, and fen and josh, and i am writing a happy ending, as a total fuck you to how i was treated this season, because fuck if they deserved to just die like that, because goddamit i am angry, fuck the showrunners, fueled by anger b/c i refuse to feel empty anymore, i pounded this thing out in like an hour and a half, i think i was channeling margo honestly, love the actors, so there's a second chapter for margo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-16 09:26:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18518599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Let me tell you a fucking fairytale.Let me tell you a story in which two men- two Kings, two magicians, two best friends- fall in love, despite the obstacles between them, and it's the easiest and hardest thing in the world.Eliot is fucking terrified of love. Makes sense, honestly- look at what he's been left with, everyone he's watched die, everyone who's left him. Quentin's got the opposite problem. He loves too easily, gives his heart out without thinking about the consequences.Eliot's a coward; Quentin's too brave. They balance each other out, a bit. They break each other, a bit.But at the end of the day, Eliot and Quentin are best friends made for each other. They are each other's confidant, best friend, lover. They were parents and Kings and magicians and schoolmates and questers together.These two men, broken and self-destructive and dedicated and so heroic in their own ways, deserve a happy ending. They deserve not to die in vain, to spend months trapped in their own minds, searching for a way to each other.They deserve an escape. They deserve not to die.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Saturn" by Sleeping At Last, though I wrote the fic to the song "Pluto" by Sleeping At Last.
> 
> I think I'm starting to gather a series of fics that are written entirely as "fuck you, I'm making it happy" versions of various canons that screwed me the fuck over one way or another. Oops?

_so maybe this time, love doesn’t kick down the door—_

_doesn’t rattle the windows or plant weeds in the flower garden._

_maybe you can’t smell the smoke because, for once, nothing is burning._

_maybe this love is all the things those loves wanted to be when they grew up._

_maybe you spent all that time running so that you’d know how to hang up your coat when you were ready._

**-ashe vernon**

 

Let me tell you a fucking fairytale.

Let me tell you a story in which two men- two Kings, two magicians, two best friends- fall in love, despite the obstacles between them, and it's the easiest and hardest thing in the world.

Eliot is fucking terrified of love. Makes sense, honestly- look at what he's been left with, everyone he's watched die, everyone who's left him. Quentin's got the opposite problem. He loves too easily, gives his heart out without thinking about the consequences.

Eliot's a coward; Quentin's too brave. They balance each other out, a bit. They break each other, a bit.

But at the end of the day, Eliot and Quentin are best friends made for each other. They are each other's confidant, best friend, lover. They were parents and Kings and magicians and schoolmates and questers together.

These two men, broken and self-destructive and dedicated and so heroic in their own ways, deserve a happy ending. They deserve not to die in vain, to spend months trapped in their own minds, searching for a way to each other.

They deserve an escape. They deserve not to die.

This is not a story in which Quentin Coldwater struggles and struggles with his own mind for years and dies not knowing if it was suicide or not. This is not a story in which Quentin falls in love and gets rejected and ends up jumping back into a toxic relationship right before dying. This is not a story in which Quentin is trapped with a Monster for months on end, being systematically emotionally abused at every corner, and ends up not getting to reconcile with the man he loves.

This is not a story in which Eliot Waugh is trapped inside his own body with a Monster controlling his every action. This is not a story where the man Eliot loves dies before they can get a proper reunion. This is not a story where Eliot relives the memory he most regrets, promises a memory that he will be braver, and then doesn't ever get to make a lovesick confession.

This is a story where these two men spend months trying to get back to each other, trying to keep from collapsing into their own minds, and they succeed. They save each other, over and over again. They support each other, and love each other, and that is enough for now. That is more than enough, for this story, for  _them_.

-

Let's tell a story in which Eliot gets out with Margo and Quentin's help, a story where he ends up in the hospital after they pull the Monster out of his body using an ax and Q is  _there_. He's always there, for Eliot, and when Eliot opens his eyes Q is the first thing he sees.

Quentin presses an all-too-familiar fruit into Eliot's hand and says, tears in his eyes, "You said something about proof of concept."

And Eliot smiles and says, "Yes I did. Q, while I was in there, I realized that you- you are what makes me brave. You are what got me through being trapped in that house. Motherfucker- and I mean that in the most loving way- I love you."

Q gives him small, weary smile and a nod. "I love you too, El."

They've got a lot to recover from, but there's no one better to help them than each other. Fifty years taught them a lot about helping each other out, after all.

- 

Once upon a time, a boy and his best friend tumbled through a clock and ended up building a life together next to a mosaic, building a family and raising a child and living fifty fucking years together until their eventual deaths. They fell in love as the years turned, learning every inch of each other's bodies and each other's hearts, and yes, Eliot was a coward. Yes, Q gave too much of himself to others.

But once upon a time, a boy fell in love with another boy, and they were both a bit broken, but they helped each other heal. They helped each other and saved each other and made each other better people in the process.

This is not a fucking tragedy. They don't deserve a "realistic" ending. They deserve a life of magic, of love, of family.

Margo's hooking up with Josh and Fen, ruling a kingdom with her High Queen and her greatest Advisor by her side. Kady is starting a hedge uprising. Alice is finding herself and helping take down the Library. Julia is making her own decisions regarding her magic and Penny23 is totally willing to come along and support her along the way.

And Eliot and Quentin are getting their fucking happy ending. They are getting an apartment in New York, jobs they love, magic lighting up their life. They'll take the sometimes quest to help their friends- because Quentin is too selfless, because Eliot cares too much- but they'll get to live beautifully boring, domestic lives together.

They've struggled for long enough. Let's give them a better ending. Let's give them a beautiful ending, normal and weird and strange and beautiful, with their friends by their sides and a bed shared between them. Let's give them the family they once built for themselves, the world they've fought to save over and over.

Let's give Eliot and Quentin the ending they deserve, which isn't an ending at all- because nothing ends until death, and neither of these men are dying any time soon.

They live- they fucking  _live_ \- ever after.


	2. count your name as holy—love you like gospel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (In which Q and El were not the only ones screwed over by the finale, and Margo Hanson deserves better. Also, everyone in the Magicians is queer and NO ONE GETS FRIDGED. Because I say so.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Ashe Vernon.
> 
> "Stark raving mad" is a line from Ginsberg, my favorite poet.
> 
> Also, I'm not entirely sure where this went divergent from canon, but it was probably some time right after the desert arc, before the whole fish debacle.
> 
> Sorry this is so short, but eh, I still liked it.

_three bodies in a socal hotel room, all innocent touch and tangle._

_in that moment, you love them. in that moment, one touches your face and you turn into it like the sun._

_you are beautiful then, even with your makeup smeared on the pillows, even though full-sized beds were never made to hold so many people,_

_and it’s a little too hot but you don’t mind the way you usually do._

_queer kids don’t often feel safe like this. feel seen like this._

_three bodies in a socal hotel room,_

_all this soft, all this tender, all this._

_all this._

**-ashe vernon**

 

 

Margo did not spend weeks in the desert, fighting her own demons and everyone else's, going stark raving mad, to watch her best friend's love interest die and then have to come back to her Kingdom to find her  _own_ boyfriend(?) and girlfriend(?) overthrown and dead for three centuries.

No, goddammit, this is a woman who willingly (temporarily) ceded her throne to her friend, who declared herself High King in a scream, who grabbed two axes and showed overthrew the desert patriarchy.

Margo goes back to Fillory. She gets her fucking throne back. She becomes High King alongside Fen, and reconciles with Josh, and builds a kingdom to rival the Golden Age. 

-

Margo is a fucking King. She's a hero and a badass and a magician. She's got her axes and her powerful magic and her complete and utter ability to rebuild the entire world.

But she's got her flaws. She's blunt. She's violent. She's willing to blow up the ground beneath her feet to do what's right.

Fen and Josh are a lot better with people than Margo is, and they've both got a lot of talents beyond that. Josh is a wiz with socializing and cooking, even if his magic isn't the most powerful, and Fen can forge a sword better than maybe anyone else in the kingdom.

And here's the most important thing: Josh and Fen adore Margo. This is clear by any reading of her story- these two people support and worship her like no one else ever has. They love her as much as Eliot does, and maybe even a bit beyond that at times. They are willing to do whatever possible to help her achieve her goals, and this goes both ways. 

Margo, Fen, and Josh are not soulmates like Q and Eliot. They don't have infinite obstacles to overcome, don't have to deal with possession, don't have fifty years of proof of concept.

They kind of fall together naturally, through the course of their duties and quests and jobs. They support each other, are good friends and co-workers for ages, and it just kinda makes sense for them to fall into a relationship together. 

Fen's destined to marry the High King of Fillory. Josh is devoted to Margo until the end of time. The two of them become best friends when working at court. At the end of the day, it only makes sense.

They all balance and complete each other well. Josh and Fen temper out some of Margo's more self-destructive impulses. Josh and Margo give Fen the actual love she never expected to get, with her destiny. Margo and Fen believe in Josh like no one else has ever really done.

-

Margo becomes King with an iPod full of 80s songs and a knife carved for her in the pockets of her gowns. She marries Eliot's ex-wife and their boyfriend. She rules Fillory with a strong but good hand, and when Eliot and Quentin visit, Eliot smiles and says, "Great job, Bambi. Better than I ever could have done." 

During the day Margo and Fen wear the crowns while Josh is their top advisor, and at night the three of them tumble into bed together. As they have sex or cuddle, they talk politics and plans as much as they whisper sweet nothings or dirty talk. And this becomes the wonderful normal, after long enough.

Margo and Fen fuck up as rulers- they're not perfect. But they're willing to work and work at it, to do their best, and to be completely honest, they're really good at it. Between the three of them, they've got the skills and talents and drive necessary to run a pretty functional kingdom.

And they do, for four more decades. They rule over Fillory, moving it into a new Golden age, and Margo and Fen's names become legendary in Fillorian history books.

And life's not perfect, Margo knows, but it makes her happy. And after a lifetime of anger and struggle and grief, she's completely within her rights to just go for what makes her happy.


	3. when heartbroken little kids go looking for someone, anyone, who looks like them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Ashe Vernon.
> 
> Alright, as meta as the first chapter was this one is quite a bit more. The first line just kinda popped into my head and the rest spilled out afterward.
> 
> This chapter deals with Quentin, Alice, and the audience.

_we need the dream of the happy ending._

_we need the promise of a future._

_if i wanted to watch queer people being slaughtered en masse, i’d turn on the evening news._

_what i need is hope._

_the other day, i finished this book and the ending was so sugary and unrealistic and horribly cliché,_

_but more than half the main characters were queer and it was just so good to exist,_

_even for a moment, in a world where we were all happy and no one died._

**\- ashe vernon**

 

 

This is not the kind of story told in first person. This is not the kind of story that can be communicated in limitations, as if the only person affected by the main character's decision is the main character. 

It is not subversive to treat Quentin like all he is is the main character, the white male with the while female love interest. He's not the main character- there isn't one. Not in this story.

This was never a story told with an "I." This is a story told with an "Us," with a family, with a whole host of a story and whole host of an audience.

If you kill Quentin like this, if he dies and has to ask "Did I kill myself?," then this you have fundamentally betrayed the promise of this story. Not just because of him and Eliot, not just because of what it means specifically to him, but because his story isn't limited to himself. It's not just limited to him and Eliot. It's going to affect all of his friends, everyone who spent four seasons questing and growing with and loving him. It's going to affect the audience. 

Quentin's story has never been about going gently into that good night. His story has been about struggling and fighting and questing and trying to save as much people as possible. If you kill him, you betray his character. You betray that promise made by the nature of the story itself.

Some shows are told in first person. Some stories are told in first person. This story is not. This story is third person omniscient, third person encompassing, until the end.

He's not the main character. Killing him, denying his reunion with his male love interest and sending him off into that good night, isn't subversive. It's a punch under the belt. It's a stab to the heart, made to a vulnerable character and a vulnerable audience. 

And you're doing a disservice to Alice, too, with this ending.

Sticking her with Quentin feels like making her the love interest in an "I" story. Alice is far more than that. She's one of the most powerful magicians in the friend group, a leader, a former Niffin who has been fighting the Library all-season long. Alice has fucked up, but she's trying her best to prove to herself and everyone else that she is a better person.

What kind of story are you telling the audience when you tell them that Alice and Quentin, clearly toxic for each other, are endgame? When Alice is growing and learning about herself and trying to be better, and Quentin is clearly in love with someone else, and you force them together, what does your story tell people?

When you try to make your story an "I" story when it was clearly never such, what are you saying about importance and love and the power of anybody to make their own decisions? What are you saying about agency?

Quentin and Alice should be able to move on and become friends again, be able to carve out new paths for themselves without being obligated to always end a season with a kiss and a makeup. They shouldn't have to bend their bones to force themselves into a story that doesn't work for them anymore.

Give them their agency. Give them their happy ending. Give them their lives separate.

Their endings don't have to be with each other. They don't have to be toxic, have to end drowning in their doubts and in each other. They can get better. They can be better.

Imagine the impact this story could have. Imagine letting the girl be more than a love interest, in letting her struggle and prove herself and be the most powerful and good magician around through her own effort, not sacrificing anything for a boyfriend. Imagine letting the mentally ill queer boy reunite with his male love interest after a season being mentally and emotionally abused and getting a happy ending, not dying in a possible-suicide.

What kind of story would you be telling then?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked this! It was my first work in this fandom- I started watching the show after 4X05 came out and I'd been hoping to have a happy ending to inspire fic, but you all know what happened with the finale. To be honest, though, my best shit comes from a place of spite so hopefully this rant(?) was good. If you liked it, please feel free to comment/leave kudos!


End file.
